The Great Indian ‘Vacation’: Why Our Holidays Almost Always Mean Visiting Family

Ah, the glorious promise of a long holiday weekend! Your mind drifts to sandy beaches, serene mountains, or maybe even a charming European city seen on Instagram. You start browsing travel sites, dreaming of escape and adventure. And then, the phone rings. It’s your mother. “We’re all going to your Mausi’s place in Lucknow for the holidays,” she announces, with a tone that suggests this is not a proposal but a decree from the highest court of family.

And just like that, your fantasy of a relaxing getaway evaporates, replaced by visions of over-enthusiastic relatives, a fixed schedule of visiting other, even more distant, relatives, and a diet consisting primarily of lovingly force-fed parathas.

Sound familiar? Welcome to the quintessential Indian “vacation” – an experience that often has less to do with leisure and exploration and everything to do with fulfilling familial obligations. While the rest of the world sees holidays as a time to get away from it all, for a vast number of Indians, it’s the time to go back to it all: back to roots, back to relatives, back to the warm, chaotic, and utterly inescapable embrace of family.

This isn’t just a quirk; it’s a deeply ingrained cultural practice that creates tourism and travel patterns completely distinct from global norms.

The Travel Agent of Guilt: Why Family is the Default Destination

Why, in a country with such breathtaking diversity to explore, does the compass of holiday travel so often point directly to a relative’s doorstep? The reasons are a complex, comforting, and sometimes comical blend of culture, economics, and emotion.

1. Dharma & The Duty Roster: At the core of it lies the concept of Dharma – duty, right conduct, moral obligation. Maintaining family ties isn’t just a nice thing to do; it’s a fundamental responsibility. As families become more nuclear and spread across cities for work and education, holidays become the designated, crucial time to reinforce these bonds. Not visiting your ageing parents or grandparents during the biggest holiday of the year is seen not just as a missed opportunity but as a dereliction of duty.
2. The Emotional Imperative (aka The Guilt Trip): Let’s be honest, a powerful motivator is the gentle (or not-so-gentle) emotional persuasion from elders. The classic “It’s been so long since we’ve all been together” or “Your Nani keeps asking about you” are not just statements; they are highly effective, non-refundable tickets booked on the Guilt Express. This emotional pull is powerful, born from genuine affection and a deep-seated fear of being the one who “doesn’t care”.
3. The Economics of Obligation: There’s a hugely practical side to this. Staying with relatives is, for the most part, free. It eliminates the single biggest cost of travel: accommodation. This economic reality makes travel possible for millions of middle-class families who might not be able to afford a week at a hotel in Manali but can afford the train tickets to their ancestral home in Kerala.
4. Festivals as a Family Magnet: Indian festivals are inherently communal. Diwali isn’t just about lighting lamps; it’s about doing it with your family. Holi isn’t just about colours; it’s about applying them to your cousins. These festivals act as powerful magnets, drawing people back to a central family hub, making the “where to go?” question redundant. The destination is pre-decided by the calendar.

The ‘Vacation’ Experience: More Immersion Than Exploration

So, what does this obligatory family holiday actually look like? It’s a unique blend of warmth, chaos, and a complete surrender of personal autonomy.

• The Grand Arrival & The Food Offensive: You are greeted with a level of enthusiasm usually reserved for visiting deities. This is immediately followed by the “Food Offensive”, a relentless campaign to feed you until you can no longer move. “You look so thin!” is the standard opening salvo, even if you’ve put on five kilos.
• The “Tour of Duty”: Your schedule is no longer your own. It will be packed with a pre-ordained series of visits to other relatives in the city. Tea at Chacha-ji’s, dinner at Bua-ji’s, a quick “hello” to some third cousin you’ve never met. It’s a social marathon.
• The Gossip Superhighway: This is where you get plugged back into the family mainframe. You are updated on births, deaths, marriages, scandals, property disputes, and exam results of cousins you last saw a decade ago. It’s more efficient than any news network.
• A Vacation from Decision-Making: The upside? You don’t have to plan anything. What to eat, where to go, who to meet – it’s all decided for you. For those with stressful jobs, this can be an odd kind of relief.

A Unique Tourism Pattern: People Over Places

This approach creates travel dynamics that are distinctly Indian and often mystify global tourism experts.

• Destination is Secondary: The primary goal isn’t to “see” a place but to “see” people. The city you travel to is merely the setting for the family reunion. This is why a family from Mumbai might happily “vacation” in a non-touristy town like Kanpur or Nagpur – because that’s where the family is.
• The Hub-and- Spoke Model: The relative’s home is the base camp. Any “tourism” is usually done in small day trips from this hub, often with the entire host family in tow. The idea of backpacking or moving from city to city is alien to this model.
• Predictable Mass Migration: This explains the incredible, almost unbelievable rush on trains and buses during major holiday seasons. It’s not a random assortment of tourists; it’s a predictable mass migration of people heading to specific family centres across the country.

The Slow Shift: One Trip for Family, One for Fun?

Is this timeless tradition changing? Yes, slowly. With rising disposable incomes, greater exposure to global travel trends, and the rise of smaller, nuclear family units, the concept of a “real” vacation – a trip for pure leisure and exploration – is gaining ground.

The emerging compromise for many is the “one for them, one for us” model. The Diwali break might be dedicated to family, but the summer holiday is reserved for a trip to Thailand or a resort in Goa. It’s a balancing act between duty and desire, tradition and modernity.

A Holiday for the Heart, If Not the Body

A trip to visit family may not leave you rested in the conventional sense. You might return to your life more tired than when you left, filled to the brim with food and family gossip. But you also return with something else: a reinforced sense of belonging, a stronger connection to your roots, and a heart full of the chaotic warmth that only an Indian family can provide.

It’s not a vacation for the body but a pilgrimage for the soul. And in the grand, intricate web of Indian life, that’s a journey that will always be worth taking.